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A Post of 2 Halves- Part Deux: THE BIRTHDAY MASSACRE (and October awesomeness)

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Oct. 9th, 2010 | 04:06 pm
location: The Violet Prison :D
mood: bouncy bouncy
music: The Birthday Massacre

So here's the good part!

House of Burlesque
On Saturday last week, I went to House of Burlesque, dressed like a kinky Mad Hatter with red eyes XD The weather was awful, so dad gave me a lift down there. It was a little awkward being alone...especially as the show hadn't sold nearly as well as previous shows had, and where I was sitting, I was surrounded by empty seats, so I felt weird yelling out, wooping or clapping, because it made me feel very conspicuous. But the show was very good. Joe made his entrance from the back, and everything had a Victorian theme. We had a Britannia strip (woohoo, patriotic AND sexy :P) and even a skit with "Sir Arthur Conan Doyle" trying to find faeries. At one point, he addressed the audience and asked "Are any of you fairies?" To which some men yelled yes, and he replied "Perhaps not the kind I'm looking for!" lol oh and of course, we then had a pretty faerie strip heehee (Doyle tried to kidnap her, so she kicked him in the nuts). There was a very funny sketch about a Victorian woman being exposed to the Karma Sutra and trying to hump a chair, and then go out and strip off in front of a man who turned out to be gay and totally uninterested- awww! XD It was hugely funny.

The only turn-off was the fact someone thought tonight would be just the night to bring a bunch of wheelchair-bound retards to the show, and one of them kept groaning like a constipated pigeon, very loudly, throughout the entire thing! It was really off-putting and I thought it was really inconsiderate to bring them...sorry, but they weren't paying attention to the show in the slightest, and none of them could have appreciated the jokes or the songs...let alone the stripteases! Its just like when selfish parents insist on taking their babies to the cinema and everyone else has to put up with the sprog crying halfway through!

But the show was very enjoyable. One of the strip acts was a large guy called Fred Bear, who came out dressed as Queen Victoria of all people, and then stripped down to a leather leiderhosen with a teddy bear printed on the front XD I have to admit...it was not sexy in the LEAST but it was very enjoyable in a sort of endearing way, and he was very popular because he was a real personality. He did another strip (from Queen Vic outfit), right down to a leather thong and some leg warmers, with his belly flopping about...it made me laugh because this is probably how Harry would look. It wasn't disgusting, but just funny, because it didn't really work.

Probably the most memorable act (and...for lack of a better word, shocking) was The Great Voltini. He came out and started off with a bog standard sword swallowing act, which, as he pointed out, has nothing to do with electricity, and so he then switched to a glass tube filled with a gas like neon that lights up when electricity is passed through it. He swallowed that, and you could see it glowing in his throat! Then he bought on a nurse ("Electra") and made her stand on a contraption that crackled, and made her hold a neon tube that lit up when the contraption was turned on. He then kept poking her fingers, tongue and even her boobs with fire-sticks coated in petrol, and she actually set them alight! Finally, though bought out a Van Der Draf generation, which he hooked up to himself...he had the neon tube, but a neon halo on his head and then stuck a lightbulb-bearing probe literally up his arse...and then connected himself! O.O I had my jaw hanging open all the way through, I've never seen anything like it!

I had a bit of a fangirl moment, when, during the second part, I was sitting on the edge of the aisle, and suddenly someone was coming towards me. I looked up, ansd it was Joe going to the back for another entrance...but he was so close, I could have reached out and touched him...I was very tempted to glomp him, but no doubt I would have been kicked out and ruined the entrance XD

He did a little thing on stage too, running flames over his chest and arms, and lying on a bed of nails...one of the women in the front row kept heckling him fondly all evening, saying she could see his willy, when she couldn't XD At one point near the end, he announced he has a solo show in February...she said somethign (I couldn't hear what) and he said "Yes, I'll get my penis out, just for you!" She replied with "Yaaaay!" XD He said "You DO know I sleep with other men, right?"

"Lucky, lucky men."

"Not really, I'm a rapist."


Getting home was a slight kerfuffle. I was going to walk to the train station, but the rain was torrential. I ended up getting a cab while Sally, the drag queen, friendily harrassed everyone with her business cards. I bought a ticket on the train, and the train was actually leaking <.< Dad told me to get a cab from Havant, but it was a nightmare...there were barely any to be had, and everyone was fighting over them. In the meantime, I had a bloke trying to chat me up with "You look well mad" (That was the idea), and then trying to get me to share a cab with him, even though he was going to Rowlands Castle. In the end, I managed to get one...driven by Kyle's friend who seems to think we're an item and that we'll "get back together" >.< (I don't want to think what he's told her, so I gently set her straight saying I think he had a thing for me, and that I'm engaged...tried to sound all sad about it actually, so she was very sweet about it, but it just squicked me how it sounded like she thought we were together!

All in all, apart from the Taxi Fiasco and the muchness of rain, a very enjoyable evening :)

Interlude- Vivien gives me free pressies
I ordered some makeup from Angel clothing, and Vivien slipped some free gifts in there! A little frankenstein bunny keyring and a tribal belly chain, because she remembered that I belly dance now :) It was so sweet of her! (I didn't have the heart to tell her that my fat belly actually broke the chain :( I'll fix it and wear it under my bra I think)


Brian and Tracey came to pick me up and then we all drove to Southampton and went to the Joiners. I had never been to the Joiners before, and would have missed it but for the crowd of gothy-clad peoples smoking outside. Its a very small venue, surprisingly so in fact, it must have started life as a wee pub. You'd think this would make it very unpleasant, but in fact it was quite a nice venue! It has that sort of skanky-chic XD Like lots of encouraged graffiti in the loos with "I slept with the drummer from so-and-so" and "so-and-so were awesome" etc, and the walls were just plastered from floor to ceiling in neatly applied band stickers. It was very friendly, and I later realise that I was standing next to the singer from one of the backup bands at the bar :) It was very informal in a way, and the merch stand was right at the front.

Brian was refusing to let me give him money for the petrol, and then tried to get us drinks, so I was like "Oh no you don't, if you're not going to let me pay you for the drive, then you're going to let me get this round!" I think we all only had one drink each...it was very crowded and difficult to move through the crowd (especially for me and Tracey as we're only little), and didn't want to have to waste too much time in the loo lol.

The first support act were Al B Damned, the singer of which had stood next to me at the bar. They were as cheesy as hell, with songs named like "So Far So Bad" and "Flat Line Valentine", oh and "From Transylvania With Love", which was odd, because they actually had a very good sound, and had the look of an American Hard-rock band, despite all being from Bournemouth XD As cheesy as the lyrics were ("And I knew that this was love the moment that she drank my blood"), it actually was fun to listen to, and they were enjoyable. And they were nice, and were very gracious performers. I think its always nice to see these sort of perfomers knocking back a couple of beers with the punters :)

Vivien turned up a little later too, which was lovely! I was so pleased to see her, and she told me it was her who had put the freebies in my makeup package :3 We had a really nice chat as well, before TBM came on, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

I was admiring the t-shirts, and Brian was just hanging about with me and being awkward in his way that I'm slowly getting used to. I bought an awesome t-shirt (£15 too, wow, I'm sure I normally spend about £20 on a shirt), and the American/Canadian (not sure which) dude was insisting I only need an M, and I insisted on getting an L XD I was like "I only look small because of the corset!"

Oh yes, I was all purpley. I had my bright purple tights, frilly skirt, a cami over my striped purple sleeved top, and then my corset, and applied bunny rabbits everywhere I could- my bag, my earrings, my necklace...I was tempted to bring Minxy or Bonny, but in the end, I'm glad I didn't, I had a hard time just holding onto my coat and bag! Oh and my hair looks almost black at the moment, which looked nice :3

I discovered a passage to the front of the performance area through the toilets (on my one trip) and showed it to the others and we watched the second support act. They were called Raggedy Angry, and were a sort of industrial-synth band, with all these cool electronic things going on...they all wore glowy jumpsuits, but the singer's vocals were a bit too screamy for my liking. I enjoyed it, and had there been more room to dance, I would have because it was fun music, and I wouldn't mind buying a CD on a cheap site or something.

The singer, I was torn between liking him and him getting on my nerves. He was skinny but toned, and first unzipped his jumpsuit so his chest was bare, and by the end of the set was almost naked. He was wearing some boxers that were very bulgy at the front, and the Y-front were threatning to open O.O I enjoyed the music, but their stage presence was far less friendly than Al B Damned, so they both have their pros and cons. I was almost coerced into buying one of Raggedy Angry's £10 special CDs, and almost passed the money over to the very persuasive friendly lady selling them, but then I had that feeling in the pit of my stomach and pretended it was taxi fare :3 I have to say, she was very nice about it though XD

TBM came on soon after, and it was just...amazing. I'm not even sure where they came from as there was no backstage area! Well, they were so close, and they could see us as well as we could see them, I think! During Falling Down, I was waving at her like a rabid fangirl, and she seemed to look at me, and waved back. I was just gobsmacked and bounced up and down like a goofball and then she mimicked me! My heart just soaring, I gave her the V-for-Victory/Peace sign, and she did it back at me! I was squeeing so loudly that night that I reckon dogs in Portsmouth were probably wondering what the heck was going on!

The set was amazing, and I would have been happy with just that. The sound was near perfect, which surprised me as normally, synthy stuff I've heard live is a bit naff. Chibi could sing in her cute voice and in her growly voice live, and it was great! The entire gig was so intimate, and the whole band were quite interactive with the crowd, and it was one of the more special gigs I've been to. I mean, I enjoyed the intimacy of Kill Hannah, but I love TBM more, and I love the craziness of Emilie Autumn, but TBM were better. I love listening to their songs when I'm writing, they are very inspiring. Them and EA are pretty much neck-and-neck for my faves, and they are better personalities than her. I realised I already know most of the words to the Pins and Needles tracks too XD Everyone just danced and swayed and it was such a good atmosphere, and even though everyone was MELTING from the sheer heat, everyone felt great :D

Everyone screamed when they started Blue and Chibi joked "You MIGHT know this one!" XD They played a good mix of old songs and new songs, including To Die For, which is such a happy track, you might as well be one big dancing mass of happiness when it plays!

They couldnt' do a proper encore- as they said, they had nowhere to go, so they finished up with Happy Birthday, and then it all finished. Everyone loitered for ages at the merch stands, talking to the support band members etc. Me, Brian and Tracey loitered for ages...they were discussing who wanted who. Brian said "Well, Tracey wants the bassist, I want the singer, who do you want?" I said "The singer too!" and we pretended to argue over who would get her XD He said "Wouldn't Harry be less than impressed about that?" "Pfft," I replied "not with a girl, he'd want all the details!" XD I think I surprised him that I could play his dirty joking games too XD

We were cooling down just outside the door, when a very familliar couple of people popped out of an alley and walked back into the Joiners...one of them was Chibi! WE followed her nervously, lamenting our lack of pens, going "who goes first?" Tracey was feeling shy, so I went first. Chibi was discussing high-fives with someone else, and as I approached I said "Can I please have your autograph?" She was like "Of course!" and whipped out her own pen and signed my ticket. She paused and said "Do you know the theory of like the placement of the elbow giving the perfect high five?" Thats what they were discussing before. I said "No I don't." She was like "Oh well!" and put a smiley in the heart of her signature. Then she handed it back to me and said "Here, have a hug!" OH MY GOD THE SQUEEEEEEEE! I hugged her and said "Oh thank you so much!" For what? I'm not sure...for being such an inspiration when I'm writing my novel (which has been such hard work)? For the amazing show? For the hug and autograph? Squee, I'm such a douchey fangirl XD She hugged me back and said "No, thank YOU for coming!"

I was just all squeaky and bouncy for ages afterwards. Tracey and Brian also got signatures and huggles, and we left for a chippy, me and Tracey bursting out into happy squees of glee. I felt so hyper, and commented that I hadn't had anything to eat in ages, so how could I be hyper? Tracey said "'Tis the sugar of squee!" :D

Well, that I'm going to wrap up for now because I want to get off the computer...this was supposed to be a post of 2 halves, but it looks like it will have 3. Me not so good with the math :P

More updatings later! :D

Birthday Massacre Loving Chibi Bunny

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