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Writer's Block: It's me, not you

Feb. 19th, 2010 | 01:51 pm

Have you ever broken off a relationship with a friend because it was unhealthy for your self-esteem? Were you proud of your decision or did you regret it?

Yes twice. And not before giving the people who I cut out multiple chances to redeem themselves. One was such a cruel person by the end that I certainly don't regret the decision, as she hurt me and was not my friend any longer, and was no longer a positive influence in my life; I sometimes feel bitter about what happened, but I don't regret my decision because what the girl was doing to me was very hurtful. With the other though...and old school friend who consistently stood me up and let me down, and I gave her several chances to make it right. She didn't seem to think of me as her friend any longer, and I told her I didn't deserve the treatment, and gave her one very last chance to meet me and make things right. And she blew it. Some people think I was too harsh, that I should have been more lenient, but I fail to see how I was in the wrong. I'm much lonelier nowadays but I'd rather have fewer friends then allow the people closest to me to be causing me so much hurt and grief. That's not what friendship is about. I'm all for forgiveness and working together to improve on a relationship- we all make mistakes, and if we really want to make a change for the better, then we will apply ourselves to helping our friends and doing what they ask of us, and prove to them that they mean something to us, but if you make no effort to make things better...well...that friendship couldn't have been very important to you...

Puppies, snow and waffles

Feb. 14th, 2010 | 11:32 am
location: chillicothe ohio usa
mood: awake awake

What a nice day we had yesterday! We've been a little lazier the last couple of days, but i did some dishes for Harry snr because Rachel refused to do them (lazy little bitch, left a pan full of cooking oil for 4 days), and everyone loves me because of it XD I'm gonna do some more cleaning down here today because I'm starting to cough from the pet fur again, but I'm feeling more comfortable now.

We've mostly been playing Darksiders, but as a reward for being a good bunny, Harry wanted to take me out and get me a present. It was nice to get out :) His dad needed to go to Lowes so we stopped in Petland first and ended up playing with a little pug puppy. She was black, and sweet-natured and ever so cute in that charming way that not-beautiful-short-face dogs tend to be. She was ok with me, but she LOVED Harry. I passed her over to him and she went nuts for him! She started by chewing his beard (which he didn't like lol) and then chewing his fingers (she also chewed mine, but it was in a mostly non-painful nom nom nom sort of way lol) but then she just sat in his hands licking his fingers contentedly. She was very sweet.

Shopping was a bit naff. We walked around the new Waterbeds and Stuff, and then in Claire's (where we didn't stay long...it was so uncool compared to the ones we have in the UK where more ages are catered for, I felt like I was 10 years too old to even set foot in there!) where bear got me a Red Queen notebook, and then to FYE. Its supposed to be kinda like HMV only not as good. WE've found good stuff there before, but yesterday was kinda sucky. I couldn't find Horrorpops, Sisters of Mercy, Siouxsie...nothing. And all the while, I was getting funny looks. one woman pulled her child away from me, and this girl with pink hair kept giving me sort of funny looks whenever I strayed too close to her. Its just a bit odd for me because although I'm used to odd looks, they tend not to be from rocky-emo-alternative types like this girl was, and I don't tend to have kids pulled away from me either lol.

Harry found that old show The Dinosaurs on a boxset DVD so he bought that and we watched the first disc. I'd forgotten what a great show that was! makes you think though, as it had some rather dark themes here and there, the boss in the show is actually rather scary and Earl throws the baby across the room and against the wall. You'd never see that sort of (hilarious) thing on kids' shows anymore. I've watched modern kids' shows and they all suck balls, and there's nothing that introduces mild peril gently anymore. I can remember watching the Dinosaurs and even though that boss was scary, he didn't frighten me, and the hints of violence never bothered me either. Hah, that baby is so like Harry I reckon:

Baby: "NOT THE MOMMY NOT THE MOMMY NOT THE MOMMY!" *each sentence punctuated by a whack on the head with a frying pan*
Earl: "If you do that one more time, I'm going to throw you across the room!"
Baby: *pauses...smiles* NOT THE MOMMY! *whack*
Baby: WEEEEEEEE *crash* AGAIN!?


i crashed in the chair again. Around 10 or 11 I keep getting really tired and falling asleep. I did some doodling for a bit when I woke up. Harry was fucking nuts last night and wouldn't let me sleep for ages >.< I'm surprised I only woke up at 11! I couldn't stay in bed any longer so I had to get up! I'll go make some waffles in a little bit :)

We're going out on a date today. Dinner at the Red Lobster and then going to see the Wolfman. We haven't had a proper date yet, so I'm looking forward to it. We're just hoping it won't be too busy, it being Valentine's Day. Apparently a storm hit last night so the snow that was beginning to melt may well have stacked up again overnight (I'll go check in a bit...i wanna take some pictures and make a snowman :3 ).

Well I'm gonna go do breakfast, later! :)

Waffle Bunny

I better let LJ-land know whats up :)

Feb. 12th, 2010 | 05:28 pm
location: Chillicothe, Ohio, USA
mood: content content
music: Stuffs

On friday I discovered that there is now only a 1 luggage limit thingy...AFTER I packed 2 (not including hand luggage <.<). Fuck. So I ended up having to pay a 43-pound thingy for my second bag...or rather dad did, because Delta doesn't like Maestro (looks like bear will have to pay for my next fine and I'll need to get a Visa card when I come home). But in general, the flight was ok.

Funnily enough, the flight was cool. First of all, I was sat to a guy who was...spookily enough...going to meet his girlfriend for the first time in Texas! It was just such a funny coincidence, that we got talking and we've even swapped emails. Funnily enough, if we were leaving on the same day, we'd be on the same flight from Atlanta to Gatwick...but he's leaving Thursday and I'm leaving Friday XD So weird!

The connection was ok. Although huge, Atlanta is generally friendlier and easier to navigate. The passport control staff were even friendly- I had a black guy stamp me through, who, between having a call-over-the-glass-booth conversation with his neighbour, looked at my picture and said "Lets check you out honey" and then (after I told him why I was seeing Harry and that it had been 11 months) he said "DAYUM GURL! I feel sorry for you!" XD

Finding my gate was a bit of a bitch because they changed it, so i got there only to be redirected, but I was there with time to spare. I was very tired, but I managed to get myself some fries and a Dr Pepper (the girl must have thought my accent was posh because she asked if I was going to France XD ). The lady at my desk was really helpful and nice too and explained stuff about my luggage and the transfers which cleared it up for me a lot. On my second flight, the steward was taking care of me, because by then I felt very tired and sick, but upon landing, snowy cold air woke me up abit.

I got to harry very quick, and we stopped for a bit at a cafe for something to eat, but in the car I TOTALLY passed out. I was like a zombie. We went to bed at like 9 and got up at 9 the next day XD We have been rather lazy. I only unpacked on wednesday and we've spent a lot of time just bumming about playing games (I've learned that Left 4 Dead is much easier than Resident Evil 5 lol) and stuff. I've cleaned up twice, and each time I've been immensely proud with my efforts- especially in de-hairing the couches, only for the cats to reassume their positions on my clean upholstery! RAARGH! XD We did have an argument on Wednesday about the cleaning, but we got over that. upstairs is no change and Gus, who I've decided maybe cute but i dislike immensely, doesn't care for toilet training and just pisses where he likes. I don't get it actually, Cookie tries to tell you when he needs to go, and will only go indoors if he's desperate and nobody lets him out, but Gus is just a little cock. And he just bugs me, so i don't like him lol.

I exercised today and I've knackered myself out lol, I was going to go outside and make a snowman but I'm too tired after that XD And its not like I haven't done loads today. It has snowed like a bitch here, it was white when i arrived, but after sunday it just stormed here XD Dad reckons I should make a snowman, but I'm tired to today, so I will tomorrow. Bear says he'll make me a nice hot chocolate to come into. Besides, I'd rather avoid being outside alone today...

We've had a bit of drama. Firstly, the other day, a guy came by, he'd obviously been knocking door to door and offering to shovel the snow off people's drives and paths for about $10 or whatever, and Harry snr took him up on it. Only thing is, he turns back up yesterday, telling Harry snr that he's really broke and can't afford to pay for his heating and could he please borrow his phone to make an important call. being all Christian and charitable, he says yes, and goes to get the phone- and comes back to find the guy has come in, flipped open Harry snr's jacket and is taking about $70 out of his wallet...having been caught, Harry snr gives him a good telling off (?) and tells him that if he even sees this guy walking about the street, he'll call the police (why he didn't just do it, i don't know!).

Well this morning, it was nice and sunny in the kitchen so I had breakfast up there, and as I was finishing, I saw a figure walk past the window. I didn't have my glasses on...the guy walks back the way he came, back down the drive, and I see him from behind; black beanie and maybe black hair but i couldn't see his face (the guy from yesterday was black), and wearing a white hoody with a red logo on it that I couldn't make out. Well because he was leaving, I decided not to do anything about it, although I made a mental note to let Harry know, because he was in the loo at the time. But a couple of minutes later, he came back past the window. I watched the window the best I could, and I didn't see him leave, so i called bear out. Thing was, I rushed to the back window, and there was a shadow there that made it look like the guy was hiding behind the house. Harry snr got his gun and Harry bear took his hunting knife...

But believe it or not there was no one there. he must have walked back when I turned my back just a sec to knock on the bathroom door. They reckon it was probably just a guy reading their meter on the side of the house, but it freaked me out. Fortunately, they don't think I was being stupid. harry snr was confident that the black guy won't be back because he was "pretty harsh" with him apparently. But yeah, i was a bit nervous for a while.

An ok week so far. We'll probably do more next week...we're hoping to see the Wolfman at the weekend, go drinking (possibly at a biker bar) with Ed and Dan and of course, the Lancaster shopping trip. Harry and I also want a super nice date, all dressed up :)

My Dreamhunters book is BEAUTIFUL and i love my Okami book too! Harry also bought me the Avatar soundtrack weee n_n we're probably going to leave the big spending for lancaster heehee...I LIKES SHOPPING!!!

I also dressed up like Revvy for Harry the other day and he was LOVED it. In fact, I found the denim shorts in the laundry pile today and he had not so subtly turned up the shorts even shorter (like revvy's) so they are more like denim panties XD Perv.

I'm very sweaty and tired, but content. Susan just said today may have been too cold for snowmen anyway. I'll be honest, apart from Basingstoke (where it was colder than a witch's tit) it wasn't unbearable bitey at home during the snow, but here its very bitter. When we walked to Subway the other day, it didn't feel good at all. (The ladies in subway loved it when i made my order XD).

I'm considering having Bear buy me my own blanket for warmth actually, you get such cute Hello Kitty/Invader Zim/Jack Skellinton/etc ones...

Anyways, i'm watching bear be a hot mexican gangster who's stoned in Saints Row. bai for now, my freaky darlins

Contented Bunny who's eating too many M&Ms

Well this last week hasn't been so bad at all!

Oct. 2nd, 2009 | 10:47 am
mood: pleased pleased
music: My Passion- Boo Man, Gwen Stefani, Enigma

Well, there have been a few hiccups, but generally things have been much better for the last week, and I'm hoping it keeps up.

On Friday picked up an application form for Tesco from the jobcente- it was the only place you could get them because its a bit of a tosspot system, and so was the form. I buggered it up because one of the questions was so stupid. I decided I would go in on Saturday, get a new one and just hand it in there, as this Friday (today) was supposed to be the closing date.

So I walk to there (made much longer by the gates in Havant college being locked so I got a bit stuck in the carpark and had to double back) only to find that they don't open on Saturdays anymore! I was so pissed off! I carried on and did a bit of essential shopping in Savers and bought something at Peacocks on the 40%, and even bought my own copy of the Japanese tour guide book I've been hogging from the library for so long XD Oh and I bought myself sushi for dinner (although it wasn't great quality and I had to douse it in vinegar to make it palatable :3). Sunday was kinda lazy, but on Monday I had a lieu day. I walk straight to the jobcentre only to find that Tesco changed their mind over the weekend and closed it then, so I wouldn't have got in anyway, and I copped a bit to be honest. I know for once this isn't the Jobcentre's fault, but I absolutely hate the place and the people who work there, I really do. I hate going there because it only ever ruins my mood and makes me angry, and I get treated like dirt by the people working there. I spent 9 months having to go there atleast twice a week, and it's soul-destroying; nobody wants to help the genuinely needful people, but the scumbags got special treatment. I've decided that if I HAVE to go again, I will do it first because at least I can cheer myself up by shopping afterwards XD I'd rather do that then swing there on the way home and have my good mood totally wrecked!

Didn't get loads done on Monday really...tried to but it didn't work right out. I got invited to go over Abbis the next evening so I went to Asda and got some booze, and also bought some bits and peices that I needed.

Tuesday was actually a really good day. The shift was nice, I had plenty to do and kept busy, everyone was in a good mood. Tiffany came in and let me hold Emmy, and she seemed sort of surprised that I was holding her right and bouncing her gently- she said "She seems pretty content with you Laura," and I replied "You sound surprised!" XD Shes absolutely tiny and so cute n_n I also got some 40% stuff- a new lovely cardigan came in on the delivery and I bought it straight away...its nice but its also smart n_n That evening I went to Abbi's with Eve, and Jake wouldn't sleep so we had to entertain the little tinker, although he spent a lot of time watching telly and rolling on the floor with his kitten Hope. We had a few drinks and a lot of chocolate and all spazzed out when we got attacked by craneflies, it was so funny XD

I had Wednesday off again, and I went to meet up with Becky. As I was waiting for her I tried a spot of jobhunting in Commercial road, and to be honest, it almost put a damper on my spirits, because it was just going nowhere! Zak has so much more luck than me. As I was waiting, a bunch of complete dorks walked through a crowd of pigeons that took off in my direction, so I yelled "THANKS RETARDS!" at them and they all looked meek and sheepish. Looking back I probably overreacted but my mood really stank at that point, and it vented my rage :3 I quickly perked up once Becky turned up, and we didn't stick around in Commercial Road for long. I don't know why but Gunwharf just seems nicer in general, so my mood improved greatly. We ate at Pizza Express as it was the last day for my voucher, and we enjoyed lunch, just having a good ole banter. We had a very amusing moment where we were drawn like moths to the flame that is Paper Chase and stood frozen in the doorway gasping at- in my case- very pretty new stationary and in Becky's case a bright pink 4 ft Christmas Tree. When I noticed the tree I gasped at it too! The guy at the counter called out "Its only £4!" but it must have looked so funny! XD

Becky stuck around for a bit but then she had to leave to meet Nathan so I stuck around for some more jobhunting. I was good, I didn't shop even a teeny bit! :3 I got rid of 9 of my 10 CVs. I got a few frosty responses so I started saying "please don't be put off my by my outfit, it's my day off" and it seemed to provoke warmer replies. I left loads, and even left one in a newish shop called Daniel Shoes that I only noticed because of the Harajuku Lovers shoes in the window! O.O It was not a cheap shop, thoses shoes were £89.99 ; _____ ; But I got chatting with the girl at the counter (who also didn't mind my clothes XD) and she told me that although she wasn't sure if there was a vacancy at the moment, she would take my CV anyway because she had a feeling something would come up (and lo and behold the very next morning on the Gunwharf website, it says they do XD). I would like to hear back from them, the girl was friendly, the shop was nice, and not huge, and I don't know...I just got a nice vibe off the place. I do hope staff get a discount though, them shoes is expensive! O.O

Work yesterday was ok but more boring than before. Mags at least was being nice, Kelly was being cute. At the end of my shift I checked my phone and there had been a missed call, so I phoned them back up and it was Wonderbra in Gunwharf who I gave my CV to yesterday. I ended up calling them back once I got home and spoke to the manager, and she asked if I'd like to come in for an interview! Tomorrow! WOO! Dad says he'll give me a lift and I think I'll wear my brand new cardi n____n

I'm excited, but I'm more pleased by the fact I have a response than anything- I'm not sure there will be enough hours, because I think it might have been only 16 hours, but hey, I might as well go along. Because I have so little time and the issue of hours is in the back of my mind, I'm really not nervous, I'm not panicking, just like with Laura Ashley. I guess I think on some level I'll end up having to turn it down if it goes well, because I need more money as it is, and I'd have less after travel expenses, but the main thing is I got a positive response :) Wish me luck anyway n___n

So today I have work (need to go get dressed shortly) and I'm buying the rest of my 40% stuff. I'm trying to decide whether I should buy these pyjama bottoms I don't need but like, and trying to resist the crazy urge to buy another cardigan- its not that I can't afford it, but I understand why I'm doing it- I like to spend time admiring and thinking about things BEFORE I buy them. At work I like to be able to admire them on display before buying them, whereas I put this by the minute it came out of the delivery XD I won't pretend that possibly having another one of these cardigans wouldn't be a bad idea- its really smart and practical, great for work, and if I do get another one, I might as well take advantage of the 40% (ends Sunday and we're not open then!), but will I just continue to be crazy and want ANOTHER one afterwards? O.o I can afford these things, but I'm just a bit mad ^^;; I must be, this is preying on my mind more than an important interview XD

But I'm happy. When silly shit like that is the extent of my worries, than I know things are going well :) Well I'll try and make up my mind tonight...ask my mum what she thinks :)

Well I best go get ready for work, bai for now, my freaky darlins!

Happy Cardigan Bunny

"We hide behind the Crimson Door while the Winter sings 'Your love will be the death of me'"

Sep. 24th, 2009 | 06:28 pm
mood: determined determined

^The Crimson Door, HIM

I didn't get an interview.

My job sucks.

But at least I have the right to wear sunscreen.


"He say 'Pull over boy and get your ticket right'"

Jul. 12th, 2009 | 03:26 pm
location: Pyjamas
mood: touched touched
music: Alice in Videoland- "Panic"

(^ "Speed Demon", Michael Jackson)

I'm actually having some slight difficulty trying to remember last weekend....at least saturday last week anyway XD I can remember cleaning and ironing on Sunday last week, and Top Gear and exercise, and thats' it XD. Oh wait, I think I had a lazy saturday because I went to see Public enemies on the Friday before. That was pretty good actually, and surprisingly violent. I also bought myself a Terminator spin off book (which was pretty good), and then I found Moonwalker on DVD and I just had to buy it @_@ (it was only £7 but at least I've made my contribution to MJ's debts :P ).

Well the week has been ok. It was Kirsty's last day on Monday (feels like a million years ago now) and I gave her a card with a lucky black kitten on it, and she hugged me twice and said she'd miss me. I think I'll miss her too. I was handing out cards all day on Monday, I had an early birthday card for Tiffany, and a welcome back card for Laura too. I have to admit that on Monday Laura was annoying me a little, but by the end of the week, things felt like they were starting to get back into the old swing, like last summer. Things won't be quite right again of course- Sammy is gone, and Mags is even nastier and bitter than ever, and what's more, Tiffany who, for all her faults, is the chirpiest and most upbeat person, will be gone in 3 weeks, but things might just improve enough to make it feel worth while again.

I had Tuesday off, and was bitterly disappointed by the fact that it was on that day when the rain decided to pay us a visit, as I had been planning to go to the beach and if possible to the Blue Reef Aquarium, which I've promising to do this summer. Now, don't get me wrong- I'm not antisocial and I actually enjoy the company of others, but from sheer necessity, I am capable of entertaining myself, and going out on my own doesn't bother me, even if it's doing things that most people wouldn't do at all, like going to the cinema. If I'm honest, it must show I have some level of independence and security that maybe other, more independent people don't realise, because some people would never dare do it- whereas my dad's friends do, my uncle does, and my dad admits he would do it all the time if he had time to. Similarly, I'm not the sort of person who allows the weather to interrupt my plans. If it's raining on a day I want to go shopping, I take an umbrella, and try to stay in sheltered places. Sure the rain CAN suck (as it decided to teach me several times this week) but it's really not so bad (I think I must be one of the rare Brits who don't complain about the weather...I might comment on it, but I don't say daft things like "we've had no summer" just because we had a week's worth of rain after 2 months of decent weather XD).

However. Despite my not-minding about doing things on my own, and despite my nochalance about the weather, even I knew that it would be INCREDIBLY sad to sit on the beach on my own in the middle of a downpour XD

So that was cancelled, and I spent Tuesday faffing about, and watching Moonwalker, and trying not to cry. I love that movie, and I couldn't believe that it's actually 21 years old- I think Michael looked great back then, but the film was sort of good remastered quality so it didn't seem that old at all. The bit that really got me was after Michael turned into a spaceship and appeared to "go away" and the cute little girl Katie is wishing on a lucky star that "I wish he'd come back". I really choked up at that moment- soppy of me I know, but I really wished that it was as simple as wishing on a lucky star too ; _ ;

And then I watched the memorial show, and also managed to keep all my tears bottled up for quite some time. I keep hearing newspapers and cynical people describing as a macabre circus and really putting a negative spin on the more positive parts of the whole thing, and that's bothered me. I won't lie- the amount of loud black people who seemed to be raving about race issues in a slightly inappropriate way really did bother me. Even the women were bloody doing it, and it really annoyed me because I started to actually feel like I wasn't supposed to be listening because I'm white, and I felt like I was being shouted at rather than listening to people who were genuinely upset by Michael Jackson's death- of course not everyone was like that, but the only white person I saw giving a speech was Brooke Shields, and to be honest I think she was the most moving speaker apart from Jackson's actual family. Some people have accused her of sounding too "actressy" but anyone actually paying attention to her mannerisms could tell she was on the verge of absolutely breaking down in tears, and she only just made it out to the end of her speech, which was impressive in length, considering how emotional she was. I loved it when she said "So, what's with the glove?" XD

I don't think it was too circusy...I'm sure there was an element of wanting to entertain people who were watching, but I really got the impression that the majority of the people on the stage were really outpouring their emotions in tribute. I had tears rolling down when Brooke Shields and Jermaine Jackson were speaking, but I absolutely cried my eyes out after Paris Jackson spoke. Poor little "Blanket" looked like he had no idea what was going on though, probably just too young to get it at 7 years old.

People have been saying the kids shouldn't have been there, but to be honest, I think they had a right to be there. And Paris had a right to say what she wanted. People are criticising letting her speak, but I'm sure they would be equally disgruntled if somebody said she couldn't talk. I think that Paris and Prince are probably only just old enough to get what was going on, and it probably has only just hit them, and there's no easy way for them to carry on, but at the very least, when they were on the stage, they were surrounded by loved ones who embraced them and were feeling their pain. At least they had their aunts and uncles to hug them and let them cry, and I really thought that was great.

Well anyway, moving on...

I was working 9-1 on Wednesday and I was pretty groggy at first, but there were two upsides to this. First of all, it meant my shift finished before Mags' started, and also I had plenty of time in the afternoon to go to Asda and do some shopping, so it ended up as a fairly productive day. After my shift I went and said hi to Kyle, but I left wishing I could dash my own brains out. He told me he was going to get a new tattoo soon- Alucard's Hellsing sigil in fact. That was bad enough. I said "Are you sure you want to do that? It's very small and intricate, and it's nto exactly needle friendly." True- and anyone willing to do that for you, stay away from them, because a good tattooist wouldn't do something that intricate at a small scale because it will look shit and get faded. But it also annoyed me because before February, Kyle didn't even know what Hellsing was, he has only a couple of DVDs, whereas I have everything released in the UK, and he only had one manga (courtesy of ME) whereas I have all the english editions so far. Hate to sound elitist, but I've been a big Hellsing fan for 6 years and I'm still not 100% about getting a tattoo of it because I know how fads go- I was a major DBZ fan for 4 years and look at that now, I never read or watch it now. Also, it sound stupid, because I introduced Kyle to it, but I felt like "hey, that's MY thing, go get your own thing!" It's like, he's being an idiot, so I don't want him to like it XD It must be how Becky feels when she reads Twilight and then sees all the loud idiots who like it and broadcast it as stupidly as they can.

But then he told me this. He said he was going to have glow in the dark ink.

So I said "You're going to get cancer."

Now that's not for certain, but here's a few things I could find on glow-in-the-dark tattoos:

Actually that link says more. Most of the website that are coming up are talking about halloween kid's temporary tattoos, but all the ones I find talking about UV ink etc all say that no good tattooist will touch it.

Here's another bad sign. One minute Kyle says glow in the dark, and the next minute he says black-light ink. Both have problems. The former contains phosphorous, a cancer-causing chemical, and is strengthened by radioctive materials to make the light better. Anyone willing to put this under their skin is an idiot. The black-light ink, sounds better, because it doesn't have that same sort of risk, but it's still shit. For one, it will only show up in a black light, it won't glow in the dark, and secondly, the chemical is almost always rejected by the person's body and it becomes aggravating. Oh, and these chemicals also can actually affect the pigment of your skin which looks very unpleasant.

Kyle says I scared him by telling him this, but the minute he learns that black-light ink has the less risk of cancer than phosphorous ink, he'll probably go for it, and it will be utterly pointless because it will only appear to glow under the black light, and will probably annoy him so much he'll want it laser-removed.

I swear though, I think I will stop talking to him if he goes through with this. I've just lost my patience with him. I've never been nasty to him, but he never listens to me, because lets face it, I don't go out and get my genitals sucked by strangers and so drunk I can't remember what happened, and I haven't even had a scratcher touch me with a dirty machine, so how I can know more about stuff than him? -_-

Anyway, I went home, and I got changed to go to Asda and then left. It was fairly warm, but it was spittling a little, so I took an umbrella. I needed to get some of my essentials, a baby present for Tiffany, and some vegetables. I was torn over these baby toys and ended up flagging down a random lady-with-baby to ask for a second opinion. It was a real toss up between a lovely little Pooh-bear comforter, or a a cuddly toy with attached teether. I was leaning toward the teether for practicality, but I also knew that Emmy won't be needing it until closer to Christmas. The lady suggested the comforter in the end, she said how they are actually more practical than you'd think. She said she presses her daughter's comforter against her while breast-feeding, and leaves "mum's scent" on it, which is comforting for the baby.

However, not 5 minutes after I left Asda, the heavens opened and I was caught right in the middle of it. It was actually quite scary- rush hour had just started, and I was walking on Hulbert Road, which was all interrupted by gas-works, so the footpath was closed on the side I tried to walk on, meaning I had to hop over to the otherside. But it was blowing a gale, throwing down sheets of rain, and the traffic was heavy, and it was quite scary getting across. I then almost got splashed by some utter dickward who ploughed needlessly through a puddle next to the pavement (I screamed blue murder at them, as pointless as it was). Also, my umbrella was useless. Because the wind was trying to whip it out of my hands, and the rain was coming in practically sideways, and because I had to stop to tie up my bags and dropped the umbrella for 3 seconds, my hair got all wet, and I was soaked from the waist down. My bag was a right mess and I had to move my phone before it got ruined. I was really mad by the time I got home. I normally don't mind too much getting caught in the rain, so it was really just unfortunate, but I was in a rotten mood by the time I got back.

I decided however, that after walking to and from Asda, I didn't need to exercise :P

The next day was a bit better. I had to get up early again because Laura Ashley invited me in for a recruitment day thing. I thought maybe it would be a good idea just to look into it anyway, despite the fact they don't want a mother and daughter working together, and I can't afford to be placed at a different store. It actually went really well- I wasn't nervous because I knew nothing would come of it, so it went brilliantly XD I had to do a math test, which I think I must have done well (WOW!) because the next day, mum told me that Rachel had thought I was "lovely" and would offer me a position if it wasn't for mum. I still don't know why the manager asked me there if she knew she couldn't give me a job, but I think that they just want me at the company. Problem is that the nearest store is Southsea- I would only get abother 16 hour contract and would need to put in 2 20 minute walks and a train journey to get to work, and I actually need MORE money right now. Oh well...on the upside, it was a real ego boost to hear that Rachel really liked me. Lucky git Zak though, he went job-hunting in Gunwharf the other day and was offered an interview for Calvin Klein only hours later. Why don't I get the same luck? I have a great CV and I interview well, I just have poor luck!

(Yet again, no exercise due to a walk to Havant and back :P)

Well anyway, Friday was ok, Laura really seemed to be getting settled in again and we had a laugh. After work, I needed to go to Asda...again! XD I haven't exercised much this week, but the walking is about 30-40 minutes worth, and I do 24-30 minutes worth of step exercises, so I think it's alright. Anyway, I needed to go again so I could get a few more things to put in Tiffany's gift bag, some booze for her BBQ on Saturday, and some toothpaste because I couldn't find the brand I use the other day. Oh and also, I wanted to get the first volume of the new Night World re-publications. Night World was a book series I was into when I was about 14, which were how Twilight could have been if it had been researched properly and written properly :3 It doesn't lack teen appeal and has romance, but the ideas are much better, giving ideas explaining vampire need for blood (they give the suggestion that vampire blood can't carry oxygen, hence why the need to feed on creatures that have haemoglobin), and that wood is poisonous to them (a vampire girl has just had a wooden gate whack her shin and it is fucking caning her XD ). There was about 9 books that were published altogether, although I wonder if there were more, but I only read 4 of them from the library. Well, they've re-published them, as 3 stories in 3 volumes. I have to say, not the most brilliant writing in the world, but enjoyable, and a damn-sight easier to read than Anne Rice.

Anyway I got those things. Because Tiffany has been a reals sweetheart lately (she gave me a blueberry muffin on Friday XD) I decided to get that teether toy as well, even if Emmy won't use it for a few months, and I put a bag of sweets in there for her as well (I tend to do that, I gave Gail Foxes and Laura Oreos). I also got a bottle of smirnoff ice for the BBQ too. Tasha was finishing work right around the time i finished, so we walked part way together and just stood chatting about Michael Jackson for a bit before we had to part ways.

Saturday was great. Well, the weather wasn't, which is a real kick in the teeth because the weather is bright andd breezy today, so it is a bit of a shame, but despite that, Tiffany's BBQ had a very good turn out. I decided not to go in shorts in the end (good call <.<) and just went in a skirt, boots and striped tights. I managed to find their flat ok, and Tiffany and Gary were being perfect hosts. I didn't intend to drink much, but I had two very large cupfuls of my smirnoff, and a glass of wine and lemonade, and a coke-and-pear-cider concoction. Yes, I know what you're thinking. We'll I was drinking some diet coke, and I said outloud "now I remember why I don't drink diet coke anymore", so Kelly poured some of her Bulmer's into it XD I sniffed it (beery smell) and sipped it fully expecting it to be disgusting, but it was actually...alright. Not nice, but not horrible either, and it was just ok enough for me to finish the whole cup, albiet slowly XD

I was a bit lonely at first. The only people I knew were Tiffany's mum, and Tiffany and Gary themselves. It was a bit awkward, because everyone was a bit chavvy, so I was mainly talking to the "grown ups", the older relatives really at first. I soon learned that Tiffany's mum and aunt were horrible after a few drinks and kept away from them, but another aunt was a real sweetheart and was smelling my perfume and admiring my (then intact) makeup. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of trying to be social and friendly with an utterly awkward and rather rude man who I still don't know. He and I exchanged a few words, so I reached over to shake hands, saying "I'm Laura, by the way, I work with Tiffany," to which he DIDN'T respond by telling me his name and his relation to either Tiffany or Gary. Call me old-fashioned, but that must be terribly rude? I avoided him after that, I know its easy to feel a bit shy and lost at a gathering where you don't know anyone- I felt that way myself- but everyone was otherwise generally really nice and you have to make the effort!

But yes, I ended up chatting to a few friendly ladies, and it was all fine. Talking about Kill Hannah to one of Gary's slightly drunk mates, talking about tattoos to one of Tiffany's friends who I recognised, and when Kelly and Janine turned up, it was fine. Janine was on good behaviour, so we all had fun, I must say, if she keeps it up, I may have to take back everything I've said about her! She wasn't feeling well, so she left around 6:30, but I stayed till 9, and Kelly stayed later.

The food was pretty good. They had two BBQs out, one for burgers and things, and another that was sort of steam-roasting a big pork chop, leg of lamb and a whole fish with lemon slices in it, and it was absolutely LOVELY! Gary and Tiffany certainly know how to cook! And despite being under the influence throughout the day, Gary was in host mode throughout- when I wanted some of the pork he was cutting it up for me and making sure I got some of the crackling (hmmmm!!!) and being a real gentlemen around me (I think he knows I'm not like some of the loud chavvy types). Tiffany was running back and forth trying to mingle with everyone, and it was really nice.

Around 5:30 or 6 things got just a tad crazy when people were threatening to shove each other in the pool. Gary and Tilly live in a flat but there is a huge balcony and there was a 12 foot inflatable pool up, but of course, for the most part, everyone was huddled under the huge umbrellas to keep out of the rain. But after witnessing one of the nasty crazy aunts and her son pushing each other into it, Gary changed into swim shorts and persuaded his and Tilly's dad to chuck him in! He then climbed onto the slightly-higher nearby roof of a shop (about 3 or 4 foot higher than the floor we were on) and took a running jump into the pool. It then became a game of shoving people who stood too close in, so those of us not interested merely stood away. Tilly's mum though, with a few drinks on her, thought it was be a clever idea to follow Gary about so he chucked her in, fully-dressed, not realising she had a phone in her pocket <.< She was pretty pissy afterwards, but she seemed to take it out on Kelly. Kelly knocked on the bathroom door and said "is anyone in there?" only to have Tilly's mum snap "YES, MY SON IN LAW, HAVE SOME RESPECT!!!" O.o But after she left, everyone seemed to relax more.

It was a bit friendlier without her, and we all were really enjoying ourselves. Tiffany was taking photos (I probably look a real mess, I ended up losing my umbrella somewhere XD ) and she gave all the girlies some chocolate XD (mine was devoured within a minute lol). I was momentarily unintentionally insulting by an otherwise nice guy who said that I wasn't a "really serious goth" because I wasn't wearing corpse paint, but when I described my corset and pvc skirt, he was like "thats cool, why didn't you wear that today?" XD Gary was getting out frozen bottles of Mickey Finns, all three colours, and offering shots to everyone, and then asked me if I wanted on. I said "Oh I don't know, I've never had it. My brother drinks it, but I don't know what its like," and he said "Oh its really nice and fruity, a bit sour, but thats why I put them in the freezer, takes some of the sourness out." I tried a red one and I was like WOO MY FIRST SHOT EVA! XD Everyone could have teased me but instead they were really nice and were like YAY! XD

I had to go shortly after, and Tiffany gave me a big hug and a kiss on a cheek. Gary then also gave me a hug and said "Thank you for coming Laura, the both of us really appreciate you being here" which was really sweet and then he kissed me on the cheek too. Then he said "Come on girl, you have to have another shot before you go" and Tiffany said "Ooh let me get a photo, that was her first every shot Gary!" XD so by later on today, there will be a photo of me on facebook downing a bright green liquid XD Dad later joked that it was "disgusting" that it's taken me 22 years to get to my first shot, so I kicked him :P

I had a pleasant evening just watching TV and doing some doodles. I have a new sketchbook but I wasn't really feeling any new work (also my joints felt stiff from being out in the rain) so I just played around with finishing off half-done doodles in my last sketchbook, including attempting to colour a photo of a maiko without having any idea of how to do the patterns on her kimono and the flowers in her hair XD It still looks good so far.

Mum bought me a cushion from Laura Ashley today. It doesn't entirely go with my others (which are black and purple mostly) as it's red and cream with an image of an oriental woman on it, but it's soft and pretty, so I'll find use for it :) Today I'm mostly being lazy although I will clean my room, do my sheets and iron later. I will also exercise XD

This week is looking set to be a nice one. Work on Monday and Tuesday, and then a day off Wednesday, when I will be going to see Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince :) I may also pop into town and see if I can find a new work blouse as one of mine now needs to be chucked, having a disgustingly noticeable white deodorant mark ("little black dress safe" my arse -_-, even the tank tops I only bought a month or so ago are beginning to look discoloured!). I'm hoping to find time to speak to the tattooist in Excalibur soon actually, and talk about flash work and get advice.

Have work on Thursday again and then I have a lieu day on Friday. I'm considering the beach for that day if the weather holds up, but I suppose we'll just have to wait and see.

Well, I'm gonna get going. See you laters ;)

Mickey Finns Drinkin' Bunny

(Edit: I have made soooo many typos today, sowwy ; _ ; )

Michael Jackson- RIP

Jul. 2nd, 2009 | 07:34 pm

Sooo this is going to be one of those slightly soppy public entries I write, in some hope someone like-minded on the wide-wide interweb will read it also. I haven't done an entry like this since the death of Steve Irwin almost 3 years ago, but here goes. Skip this if you're just not interested, it's not going to be your cup of tea.

It's been a week, a week since Michael Jackson died, and I can't overdramatise and say the whole world has changed because it really hasn't, not for most of us. Those of us who were fans of his are saddened, but our lives have not been affected. We can still take that CD down from the shelf and play it as if he was really still with us. I've heard some people being slightly hysterical, saying how they are devastated. I think the only people who's lives have actually changed are those of his close friends and family. I hope that they can all move through this difficult time and come through as easily as possible...although of course, losing a loved one is never easy.

Yet somehow, there is something still sort of...wrong now that Michael is gone. I've been trying hard to think about it. My normal day-to-day life has, as I mentioned before, not changed at all. On Friday I blared out History and wore a black arm-band, but nothing was different otherwise. I've still gotten up, gone to work, gone out for fun, gone shopping etc, just like normal. So what is it that has really bothered us, those of us who feel a sort of strange emptiness now, even though MJ was never around us before?

I've listened to one friend, who incidentally lost his mother when he was only a teenager, and he feels that the deaths of celebrities are always way overhyped, drawn out in the media and people are overly hysterical about that. I can't really argue with that. He also said he felt that feeling sad for the death of someone you never met was wrong, but this I do not agree with. I DO feel sad.

It's not a well known fact, but I am a pretty big Michael Jackson fan, and he was the only singer I liked as a child. I first really to know who he was at about age 3 or 4 (I think) when I saw Moonwalker. I saw him crashing up the fairground in the video for "Leave Me Alone" (a favourite song of mine btw), and asked my parents "why is that lady breaking the funfair?" XD Since then, I loved him. When I was a kid, I KNEW Michael Jackson could turn into a car or a robot, and I knew that he had a lucky star. Nowadays, I hope he has a lucky star.

I won't pretend that I was a devout fan all my life- your tastes change as you grow older after all- but I sort of came back to Michael in my late teens, and was pleased that my younger brother was also continuing the fandom. Anyone could be a Michael Jackson fan- his music is timeless. Billie Jean is still frequently played at my shop for instance. Anyone, young or old, black or white, male or female can be an MJ fan. He really was a man of great talents. I've heard some completely ignorant people (mostly younger than myself, and at 22, you can't really accuse me of being old) saying "his music wasn't that good anyway" or even "his music was shit!" and I'm glad to realise that these people are very much in the minority! I have younger friends who were in tears on Thursday night last week, weeping, as I was, for the death of the "King of Pop". I know that even in death, his music will continue to be popular for generations. There aren't that many artists who will be able to boast that.

I'm sure some people- a fair amount of people even- really aren't that bothered. Fair enough. This message isn't for you guys. I'm not even going to bad-mouth the people who didn't like Michael Jackson for whatever reason...this isn't for you. This is for the fellow fans like me, who feel sad by this. This is my tribute. This is my totally cheesy, cliche and lousy tribute, but it's the best I can do, and dammit, I'm sure MJ wouldn't have minded, so I'm gonna do it anyway :3

Just a few related thoughts; on the child abuse allegations, I really don't believe that Michael was a paedophile. I spent a long time really wondering, and really...confused, inside. It was something of an inward conflict- afterall, he was a musical genius, but on the other, no one can allow such abuse. People turned on Gary Glitter, too rightly. I followed the trials on TV, I heard the evidence...I think that MJ was messed up, but I really don't think he was a paedpphile. There would be no point in denying his odd behaviour- I do believe that maybe he did have sleep-overs with kids, and maybe he behaved inappropriately in that sense, but not in a sexual way.

On his weird behaviour, well, I can hardly be judgemental toward an eccentric when I myself am something of a nutcase...here...posting up all my thoughts and feeling toward a pop star on live journal <.< no, no, I love weird and wonderful, and I think of Michael Jackson as weird and wonderful. Even if he DID sleep in an oxygen tent, so what? Whacky, yes, but when you take into consideration the things Michael endured as a youngster, it only makes sense he'd come out all messed up. I'm torn between feeling sad for him in the sense that yes, he was a totally tragic figure, pushed to the brink and under so much physical and mental stress, and quite probably killed by misused prescription medication, but I also saw the whacky side of him as something...not bad...I've never viewed eccentricity as a negative thing. When you see pictures of just days beforehand, doing rehearsals and looking undoubtedly like a determined and relatively fit 50-year-old, on the brink of the biggest comeback EVER....it just makes the fact he was dead just days later even more painful and tragic. I'd like to think that no matter how happy or unhappy Michael Jackson was, that he would still have been weird and wonderful.

On the media's reaction...well, I wish I had seen the BBC presenter who supposedly choked up on air on the late night broadcast, when announcing the news. Because it would have been one of the few times on TV that I saw someone expressing their true feelings about the situation without wanting to get their name into the spotlight at the same time. Yuri Geller is one such person who consistently gets on my nerves as he seems to have procured as many interviews as he can...but on the upside, some of the things I've heard him say have made me feel quite...glad in a way. He claims that he put MJ in a hypnotic trance and unethically asked him if he had touched any of those kids, to which MJ said no, while deep in trance. It's apparently totally unethical to do this, but at the same time, it must have been really good validation to him. I know Geller is an attention-seeking twat, but at the same time, I think I believe him when he said that. Also, Phillip and Fern were interviewing a guy on This Morning...now unfortunately his name escapes me, but he is a celebrity of somesort here (I think he's in theatre) and has been consistent friends with Michael for decades, and the things he said were actually wonderful to hear. He was saying how the reason why Michael's children had their faces covered in public was so that they could go out without their father without being recognised, and this guy said he had taken the kids to the cinema or whatever on numerous occasions with his own children. So on one hand, I've been glad to watch some of this media coverage, because you got to see the real guy who died, not some not-quite-from-this-world icon that nobody truly knew. In a way, the fact a real man has died sort of gives validation and made it feel acceptable to me to feel sad.

But I am also a bit wound up by the way people are jumping on this like the "newest hottest news" rather than the tragedy that it is. I may have been young at the time, but I don't believe that everyone acted like it was sort of trendy to have Princess Diana memorobilia when she died. I hope that the people who have rushed out to buy Michael's CDS and made the shops run out are people who are thinking "Crap...I've missed out on something amazing!" and gone to get the CD, rather than people thinking "everyone is playing Michael Jackson right now, I better get the CD so I'm up to date with everyone."

Actually...people...just keep buying the CDs. You'll wipe out Michael's debts in no time, and you'll be listening to some fantastic music!

Well, I don't really have much more to add. To people who decided to endure reading this post, well thanks for sticking with it, even though it is silly waffle, I just felt that I ought to do this, even if no one ever reads this. I'm not distraught, I'm not devastated, I'm not bowled over with grief, but I am sad, so I thought this might make me feel a bit better.

I think that the reason why some people are so affected as they are, is because they saw Michael Jackson in the way that some of us do see some celebrities- iconic, constant, immortal even. Unlike so many one-trick-ponies or talentless fucktards that always appear in the newspapers and magazines nowadays, Michael Jackson never disappeared from the limelight in a puff of smoke, and died a celebrity death. Even when on hiatus, or when he was just not writing or performing, the music was always there. His music is sort of ingrained now...you know that you almost definately heard a Jackson song on the radio or something leading up to BEFORE his death. The music has just always been around somehow, so he has too. Suddenly, that icon has died, and I think it had shaken some people, myself included. People like Michael Jackson are often elevated to a status in people's minds and hearts where they mistakenly and naively believe that they are in some way untouchable...so when they die, it IS shocking. It's not necessarily as painful as actually losing someone close to you, but it does upset people, and I think that this is a natural reaction- something in the world has changed, and change is scary, and it can bring home the fact that mortality is very real and we could all die at any moment. Having sad that, I do think that the world has lost something with Michael Jackson. I'm very grateful to have his legacy left behind, but this utterly unique and amazing man is gone now, and we will never see his like again.

I have only cried once, but I am still sad. But I hope Michael Jackson did find that lucky star in the end, and that his suffering is finally over. I hope somehow he knows how many people loved him and will miss him. And I hope his loved ones will somehow find the strength to make it through this.

Only one thing I can think of to say now. RIP Michael Jackson.

- Bunny

Dicky Tummy, but Delightful Daddy-Daughter Day

Jun. 20th, 2009 | 05:21 pm
mood: cheerful cheerful
music: Fall of the Leafe


This week has been so long and crappy! First all that crap with Janine on Monday...then Tuesday was ok, because I had loads of stuff to do and I totally rearranged Mag's bra stand, but it's been kinda crap otherwise. First of all, I'd like to know what the FUCK Mags has been doing every work day for months, because I needed to pull EVERYTHING off and redo it completely. It was good to have something to do for once, and Kirsty said I did a really good job, but at the back of my head, I was thinking "What exactly is it that keeps Mags 'super busy' for 3 hours out of 4 every delivery day?" The delivery only normally takes a couple of hours altogether.

There was no backlash, thank goodness, but I think it's partly down to Kirsty's presence- she wasn't supposed to be in on Tuesday originally, and I think Janine feels undermined by Kirsty- too bloody right- so she hasn't said anything at all.

Kirsty IS leaving soon, and Laura is coming back, and I'm not sure whether I'm happy about this or not. All the stuff that has been moved will no doubt be moved back Laura, and I just have this feeling that things will not move forward the way we were lead to believe when Kirsty first showed up. I'm not saying this because I dislike Laura, because things haven't been right since she left, but I just feel like that this pathetic little shop is stuck on repeat or something, and nothing ever changes.

Take yesterday. I ended up very annoyed with Kirsty because she asked me to completely redo Kelly's boxer-stand, which I did, and I did it exactly as she asked, and then nearly 2 hours after I started, she decided it wasn't actually what she wanted and redid it herself. She also left me alone on the shop floor for a whole hour, which i think was out of order. Everyone has been saying they don't like her much and I was thinking they were all mad until now. She didn't help me with ANY cleaning, and expected me to hoover with 5 minutes to close. In the end, I absolutely half-arsed everything- why should I fucking do everything just because she'd prefer to faff about in the office?

This said, I'm sure it wouldn't have been so bad if there had been another member of staff, and I still like Kirsty better as a person more than I do Janine. But it's like Cassie vs Laura all over again between them. Janine wrote up all the rotas for next month and a half, which has now all been changed (I am so unhappy with a 4-8 shift I've been given). Lots of stuff that Janine has done has been rearranged.

So yeah, it kinda started off ok in the sense I was being given jobs to do, but after all while, it all became dogsbody bullshit again. The stuff with the bra stand was good, because it really needed doing and no one has touched it since. But it's getting frustrating.

So I was absolutely chuffed to peices by the end of my shift yesterday. I needed to go to Asda to pick up some essentials, so even though dad was driving there anyway, I enjoyed a stroll there and back (no need for exercise on top of that that way). Oh but I must say, I am seeing more and more stupid drivers by the day. Twice while trying to cross zebra crossings in the Asda car-park, stupid bimbo girls about my own age just sped across, with their neanderthal jaws hanging open and gaping at me like "why is she, like, so annoyed that I, like, cut her off at the, like, zebra crossing?" Two different drivers, two different cars, yet still exactly the same. It's frightening how many morons are given the all clear to zoom around at high speed in metal death traps these days. I know myself I'd be a crap driver, so being a responsible human being, I don't drive. Like, simple!

Had a good evening- a little mindless chat with Harry (we were both a bit tired) and then some Criminal Minds.

Last night was rough though ; _ ; I went to bed sometime just before one, and I know I was teensy bit bloated before bed, but it didn't seem unusual and I went to sleep very quickly. However, around 3:20, I was woken up by very bad stomach pains. They didn't seem to know where they should be however- it was partly in the top of my stomach, but was also in the bottom of my abdomen, which is normally what happens if I need a poop or something. So I tried to poop with no luck, there simply wasn't anything to poop, and I tried to go back to sleep, but I guess moving around didn't help and I decided maybe I was going to be sick. It was 3:45 when I decided to sit in front of the toilet, hugging the rim and praying I wouldn't throw up...it was 4:48 when I went back to bed, finally much better. Nope, I didn't throw up, and yes, my body really couldn't make up its mind whether I was just having a gas problem or whether it was actually poorly. In fact, it meant I had to waste some more time lying upright against cushions to allow my body to get used to resting horizontally as lying like that immediately made me feel sick again.

I slept very well, having some crazy dreams about Slipknot in the meantime, and when I woke up, at first I felt absolutely fine. Apart from the fact that whenever I moved, my stomach felt stiff, as if all the muscles were stiff from cramps. But it hasn't quite gone away. It's mostly ok, but it does mean I can't tell if I feel sick or hungry very easily, and moving awkwardly makes it hurt, but for the most part I don't actually seem ill. Occassionally I burp or fart and then I feel a little better, so I'm guessing it's really messed up gas O.o

Luckily, it hasn't put a downer on our day, because me and Dad went through with our plans to hang out together in Gunwharf and go to the cinema. It was really nice, and we were giggling and being silly and having a good ole laugh, and strolled about a bit, pretending to want to kill childrens :3 Dad is just like me in the fact he doesn't like kids, and we were both moaning "oh shaaat up!" at kids who were crying and squinnying, and when we were queueing to get on the escalator, a little girl was hopping on ahead of us, and Dad mimed kicking the kid to make her get on XD Like I said, I guess that's where my maternal instinct, or lack thereof, comes from lol. I paid for our tickets, so dad insisted on buying my popcorn for me, which was nice :) We were discussing some other films we might want to see this summer- believe it or not, we're considering Transformers 2 because it looks good in the trailers, and I'm thinking Public Enemies might be good. We also talked about and saw the trailer for Surrogates, and we think that might be awesome :) We were having a laugh, and I was joking about that time in the Simpsons it flashes back to Homer seeing The Empire Strikes Back, and blabs the ending to the other cinema-goers queuing outside as they leave- "I couldn't believe that Darth Vader was actually Luke Skywalker's father!" lol

Yes, we did see Terminator Salvation. So that's 3 times for me now :3 I'll be good though, that will be my lot till I get it on DVD XD Dad really enjoyed it too which was good, and occassionally, he'd make a joke in my ear like:

Blair Williams: What's gonna happen to him?
Kate Connor: Disassembled

Dad: "NO! No disassemble Number 5!" XD

(That's a reference to the movie Short Circuit if nobody knows lol)

(Spoiler for the end of Terminator Salvation in the next paragraph so skip it if you don't want to know)

And he jumped at some of the bits too, so I know I'm not alone XD At the end, as we were leaving, there were people queuing up outside our screen, and we were saying we enjoyed it , and he said (only JUST out of earshot of the others) "yeah and I really liked how Marcus gave John Connor his heart right at the end!" =D I was absolutely creased up with laughter XD

It was a really nice day out, and we both had fun. We were saying how Zak and Mum had their girly gay day out last week, so it only makes sense we'd have "manly day" watching "man movies" XD I like some action films anyway so it doesn't bore me, but I suppose it helps a lot if you fancy the main character ;)

But yeah, it was a good day; I've been looking forward to it all week, so not only was it a treat for me to get out and have fun, after having one weekend day last week and no day off during the week, but I also got to spend some quality time with my dad. In the last month or so, we've gotten on so much better than before, and it's been really nice after all that time when we were arguing a lot. Ever since dad came and hugged me that night and said "we're not fighting!", things seemed to have been much better between us. I think on one hand, dad has been more sensitive towards me, and when he hasn't, I've had a thicker skin regarding his comments. I love my dad very much, and it's wonderful to know that we can still hang out and have a laugh :)

Only bad thing today has been my tummy, which seems to be improving slightly. Oh and worked tried calling me apparently, asking me to come in, and Dad was like "huh no!" It was actually mum who answered the phone, according to her (she's just come home) it sounded like a younger person so it was probably Janine, so screw her, she knew I wasn't free today. Mainly after the pain in the arse stuff that happened last time, but I wouldn't have gone anyway- for one, I've just worked last saturday, wasn't feeling hundred percent well this morning, and it WAS DADDY DAUGHTER DAY TODAY! =D Dad, bless him, offered to put it off, but I was like nuuuu its our day to have fun, the tummy can put up and shut up! A couple of ibuprofen and a short spell on the loo sorted it out anyway XD

I wore my brand new yellow cat shirt today too! :) I'm still a tad bloated but it looked pretty cool, especially with my velvet peddle pushers, and I think it looks sort of...ironically goth XD It's sooooo cool :3

I'm feeling quite perky despite the tummy, so I'm hoping to have a little fun tomorrow, doing what I don't know yet though XD On Wednesday I'm hoping to get my haircut (I better book that on Monday XD) and next weekend it's Becky's birthday day-out so I'm looking forward to that too (I'll wear my denim shorts for you Becky ;) ) Dad is now Becky's newest fan and is thinking of going to the Amy Studt support gig too (I'll make sure he doesn't mob you Becky!).

What else have I to do today? Nothing else, i think. I want to talk to Harry but I have to wait till Monday ; _ ; Oh I think I need to sort out my mp3 player XD Anyway, it's been a nice day and I just hope it keeps up =D

So until later my freaky darlin's, take care and have fun n_n

Daddy's Little Bunny :p

"Open Your Eyes"

Jun. 1st, 2009 | 12:26 am
location: Basket
mood: calm calm
music: Lullabies

(The only line I can remember off the top of my head from "To Die For" from the Birthday Massacre, which is quite a nice cheerfuly song lol) ^

Yesterday was a good day! :)

First off after yesterdays LJ post, I bought those tops on Attitude >=D I know I know, chastise me later. Actually, it wasn't too expensive with the leftover monies from last month...

I then went into town to get the stuff I need for the month. Essentials basically. I have everything now, and although I can see myself needing another can of deodorant if this heat keeps up, I think I'm set for June now :) I also got some birthday cards as there are some upcoming this month (not getting one for Zak though :P ) and I was tempted to just buy random pretty ones with black cats and geisha on them because they looked nice XD (I didn't lol).

I also got some badly needed new colouring pencils from WHSmith. All mine were broken and naff, and were just snapping everytime I applied pressure, making it difficult to colour in artwork properly. I was a bit apprehensive, because they were a bit dearer than what I'd normally get (I'd normally just get your bog standard kids's ones) but they were artist-quality ones, and only £4.99, and I figured, that's cheaper than what Hobbycraft would sell me. Turns out they are LOVELY. I've been doing some work with faces and the like, and I found I could make this perfect skin tone by blending a pale pink and an ochre yellow. They blend very well, but also have very vibrant colours. So yes, I was very happy about that.

I looked in New Look, but the store in Havant is rather naff to be honest. It's like...lots of items, yes, but nothing I'd wear, and sure the shoe area is laid out perfectly, but the rest of the store is just sort of rubbish. AND I DIDN'T REALISE HAREM PANTS WERE ACTUALLY BEING SOLD OVER HERE, I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A FASHION CRIME NIGHTMARE! ; ___ ; I'll look in our Leigh Park branch, who gave us the vouchers in the first place, they are a smaller store, but they tend to be laid out better (making it easier to find your way around) and they do have nice things.

I also bought some Witch Wipes for about a quid cheaper than normal in Savers (Asda has stopped selling Witch altogether O.o ) and was very pleased to pick up a bottle of mineral water for 19p XD It was a very hot day on saturday, but I enjoyed being out in the sun for a bit (although I was, of course, coated in factor 30 suncream :3 not a touch of a tan on me).

I came home and changed my top (very sweaty ; _ ; ) and then we went out with Danny for a dinner. Sadly, he left earlier because he had a "dicky tummy" and hadn't felt well all day, but we had a nice little dinner together, and a good laugh, and he seemed to like his present. He was flicking through the book and chuckling out loud which must be a good sign :P I will get Harry a copy of that haha...(That's Al Murray's "The Pub Landlord's Book of British Common Sense" btw.)

I must say, I was VERY pleased with the result of Britain's Got Talent. All week those semi finals were PISSING ME OFF big time. I mean, for one, it looked like it was being set up for that the judges' favourites would definately make it to the final- most of whom deserved to go anyway, but it meant a lot of really shit acts going through, and a lot of the really good acts being grouped together, making it harder for the best ones to go through ultimately. I HATE that little Holly girl...ok, hate may be strong, but I was very angry with the way everyone babied and pander to her on Friday. She threw a goddamn tantrum on stage when they first said she couldn't try again (and literally minutes beforehand, Amanda Holden had told the juggler that you only have 2 minutes and one opportunity to wow) but then they let her anyway? And then they all said she was "so brave" when she finally got through the song without fucking up. Um...no...a little girl fighting cancer is brave. A little girl having a bitch fit on live television because she wasn't allowed to bend the rules is just being a brat.

But it really goes to show, so many other kids go on that show and do just fine, and when they have to drop out, they all say "I had fun" or whatever- they'd like to win, but they're not being super competitive. And not all of them are older than her- look at little Connie from a few years back. All the other kids were much more mature, and I reckon that it was because they didn't have, ahem, pushy parents behind them. Just encouraging ones.

But yes, in the end I was pleased. To be honest, I didn't want to see Susan Boyle win. She's a fair singer, but people were making out she's super-talented just because it was unexpected. I will say though, she was certainly very gracious at the end, and I thought it was nice to see her that way. A lot of twats from "up north" have been saying things on Yahoo like "she didn't win because everyone down south hated her, they all ought to be ashamed of themselves". Actually, she only lost by 5%, Diversity were just more popular. So that's just being stupid and bitter. I'm glad that she wasn't stupid and bitter. Good on her.

For me personally, I couldn't really choose between Flawless and Diversity, I liked them both so much. I think Diversity truly deserved to win, but I'm glad that I didn't have to choose or anything! I suppose Flawless are more polished, and Diversity are more imaginative, but both are really dynamic and entertaining. I was so pleased when it turned out Diversity won, I didn't think they would. I actually yelled out YES when their name was called out. And for any body who was doubting them (and I've read comments online from people who do), that last performance is just proof of how good they are- if it was a singer who sang and got wobbly from emotion, then people would just saw "aww they're overcome", but being dancers, not even in that last performance could they afford to "wobble". They all composed themselves really well.

Hahah, I'm in love XD they rawk.

I read a Neil Gaiman short story today called "Snow, Glass, Apples" and it's really stayed with me O_O It's a perverse fairytale basically, a retelling, and that's so my thing, but it's really stuck with me, it's just so twisted XD In fact, a few minutes later, I found my creative flow working again, and I started this drawing:

Inspired...well I'm starting to feel more creative all the time right now. I may not be writing too much but that start on the short story was promising, and I've done some nice coloured drawings over the last 24 hours or so, which means that the current sketchbook should look a whole lot better once full.

Well I'd better wrap this up, it's late...I hope I sleep better tonight, I slept so badly last night >.<

Night, my freaky darlins ;)

Dancing Snow Bunny

PS: I had a lemon meringue pie today. I is happy :3

Pray For This Bunny For She Is A Filthy Sinner...

May. 30th, 2009 | 12:27 am
mood: mellow mellow

(Ornery boy is updating again yaaay!)

Ahem, anyway, I had an...episode of sorts today -_-

I was serving this lady, who I'm sure I've served before, and I thought she was just a snob at first (which is hilarious, because there's nothing sillier than a snob shopping in Peacocks :P), but apparently she was more than that.

She started what seemed at first, a totally normal conversation. She commented on my bunny necklace- the cute one that looks like a zombie or something. She said "So what's the meaning behind the rabbit necklace?" and I just said something like, oh I love bunnies, and a lot of people nickname me Bunny etc. She then said "I've noticed you're also wearing a pentagram." I didn't think that was unusual at first, a lot of people comment on it. I said something like "Oh yes, well, it holds a lot of deep meaning for me, I'm not a Wiccan, but I'm interested in it, and I know a lot about it." And what's when she said "Well, be careful."

I thought that was a bit odd, but I just assumed she was thinking "satanists", so I said "Oh there's nothing to worry about, it's actually a very nice religion" to which she interrupted me and said "Yes, I know about it, I don't talk about things that I don't know about." I instantly thought that was an odd thing to say because if someone DID open a bleeding book about Wicca, then they'd realise that there really is NOTHING to be worried about. While some of the practises and beliefs are a bit outlandish and bizarre, to me, it's no less strange in believing that a disappearing corpse is our lord and saviour, and pretending to eat his flesh and blood in sympathetic acts (Wiccan and Pagan rituals often involve a lot of similar sympathetic acts, but they sound much weirder simply because it doesn't necessarily involve bread and wine). Harry thinks that much of it just bollocks, but doesn't think it's harmful. So I continued, saying, "I know there are a lot of misconceptions about Wicca, but they're not true, it's nothing to worry about." Then to make the conversation more lighthearted, I added jokingly "A lot of Christians get it wrong sometimes, my boyfriend's family are Christian and I think they think I'm going to hell or something."

That was a joke of course.

But she said dead serious: "WEll YOU ARE, YOU KNOW."


Seriously, I know some Christians can be pushy and preachy, but I have never been told that before, and it felt like a slap in the face. Sorry, but regardless of your faith and your belief, saying something like that is FUCKING RUDE, is it not?

I was absolutely shocked, and she just carried on saying "I'm a Christian, so I know what's I'm talking about" (Sorry to be potentially offensive here, but that's a stupid sentence if I've ever heard one!), and started saying stuff about how I'm putting myself in danger and that I can still be saved and that Jesus Christ loves me etc. She wasn't a crazy looking woman btw, she seemed a bit stylish and posh...so basically, one of those snobby "I'm better than you because I'm a Christian and being a Christian got me a great job" sort of people -_-

I actually said "You know what, thanks for the concern, but I don't care" and I sort of ended up trailing off because she was talking over me. I was really offended. I don't mind someone saying "bless you" or whatever, because I take it as a compliment in a way, but being told that you're going to go to HELL for WEARING a pagan symbol is just nasty. Keep in mind that I DID tell her that I'm NOT a Wiccan. And it just goes to show she really didn't know what she's talking about- Wicca is only one of a long line of other cultures and religions that have adopted the pentagram for various uses, including Christianity. In Arthurian legends, the pentagram represented the 5 virtues of a Knight, and for some time has also represented the 5 wounds of Christ. In fact, it has been much longer used as a Christian symbol then it has done as a Satanist symbol (reversed and including the addition of the head of Baphomet).

That's another thing about symbols...symbols can mean almost anything you want to put onto it. My pentagram represents the 5 elements of nature to me (earth wind water fire and spirit), but also has sentimental value, as I feel it's lucky and I got shortly before my grandfather's death. It was first used around 3000 BC in Mespotamian writings, and the Babylonians probably used it in an astrological context, representing the 5 planets. Don't get me started on the cross. The cross is not a uniquely Christian symbol either, and they probably nicked the concept from the Egyptian Ankh in the first place (which is the Key of Life, therefore eternal life...see the pattern?). The 4 lines have also been known to represent elements, so it's not all that different from the star.

But yeah tangent lol...

The funny thing was, while I was standing there fuming, thinking that I shouldn't have to put up with this bollocks at all, let alone at work, the customers were generally quite indignant about it! A few shared my view and even seemed slightly offended themselves, one saying "It's none of her fucking business!" XD I was actually quite amused by it.

I don't have a thing against individual Christians (although I don't agree with much of their beliefs and I dislike the organised institution of it), but that's a pretty shitty thing to do in my book.

Well in other news, VERY busy day at work today, made more money then usual, although we were so busy we didn't get time to clean XD Tomorrow I'm popping into town to get some wipes I couldnt get at Asda and also try and take advantage of a New Look voucher I was given...see if I can find some summery bits like camis. I'm also going to order those tops I wanted...I can afford it, so no one can make me feels bads *shifty glare* actually, one of them has gone out of stock, but is available on back order...i reckon I should order now anyway because when something is on back order, they don't charge you again for the postage if they had to ship things seperately (thank god), so although it maybe a little bit before I'm charged for the second thing, at least it won't cost extra! I keep thinking how cute it would look during the hot summer days with flip flops and shorts XD (and of course, I could wear it with skirts, jeans, etc...)

Other than that, not much else going on right now. We're probably going out for a late birthday treat for mum tomorrow, I hope Danny can come along too. He hasn't had his present yet ; _ ;

Anyhoo, I'm squinting as I type this because I'm not wearing glasses...imagine the typos...

Bai for now my Freaky Darlins...don't forget to pray for me!

Sinful Bunny of Dewm